What if the Terminator appeared and grabbed your dick and started furiously jerking you off, telling you “YOUR NEXT SPERM WILL GROW UP TO OPPOSE SKYNET AND SO MUST BE TERMINATED!”
 
These are the things I think of late at night.

So…some people have expressed interest in seeing me do some of these superhero fact meme-type deals that are suddenly so hot these days. Here is my first attempt. It remains to be seen if I will do a bunch more of these or not, but if I do, I will almost certainly focus on the most fucked up and bizarre aspects of superhero comics (it will also take a while, as these are a lot more time consuming than I imagined them to be). For example: the fun family history of Deathstroke.

memedeathstrokefinal

So if one of the two people that read this could give me some feedback on this, that would be excellent. It looks like the text size fluctuated a bit somehow between parts, I’m not sure how, but whatever.

Also this is my 100th post apparently. I accept gifts.

Which reminds me of another time I got a wrong text. This was from the ancient times before smartphones and fancy things like taking screenshots in-phone. I can’t believe this old phone still works and these were still on there. So…a quick google revealed that this was the physician of the local college hockey team messaging me…

wrongnumberhockey

Always seemed so strange to me that even after that weird little exchange, the guy still got back to me at 9:40AM the next day to remind me about that appointment. Man, I wish I could have seen what must have been the most awkward meeting ever when that hockey player got there.

Turok

I see a Turok remastered re-release is coming out soon. I’m sure Turok 2 will be close behind. That makes me think back though. Back to a time in the days of old when my old buddy Bazarov, lover of N64 first person shooters at the time, was super excited about the upcoming Turok 2. So much so that he insisted that we all go to Toys R Us so he could try the display demo they had there (how did he even know they had that? how do you hear about something like that?).

Anyway, Bazarov was a member of this black metal band that I used to hang out with. They were all buddies in a band together and I came into the group later and ended up being somewhat of a roadie for them, such as it was. Point being though, we all looked exactly like you would imagine a bunch of young black metal thugs, all covered in leather, spikes, and luxurious locks. So I can only imagine what people must have been thinking as 4 or 5 of us suddenly piled out of Bazarov’s Deicide-blasting van, no doubt followed by a large cloud of weed smoke, and into this bright and shiny Toys R Us. All just to try Turok 2. Not one of our more exciting adventures, but definitely a memorable moment. It’s funny too, because if kids like us did that today they would probably think they were there to mass murder them all and would shoot them preemptively. Funny HAHA.

Beetlejuice

Anyone remember the old Beetlejuice cartoon where Beetlejuice and Lydia were best friends and an almost-couple?

Anyone remember Beetlejuice the movie where Beetlejuice’s relationship with Lydia was that he tried to rape and murder her, maybe not necessarily in that order?

Why did no one ever think that was weird?

New Design

It’s been almost a year since I started this site so I figure now is as good a time as any to make some changes. Mainly I wanted to put things in a style more conducive to more easily viewable shorter posts. Still messing with it a bit and I don’t think I’m going to want to take the time to resize or redo every single banner image before this post, but you get the idea. I promise all five of my readers that it will look a little nicer soon!

Here we go again…

This is the blog of the entity known only, for the time being, as Richenbaum Fotchenstein.

Horrorgasm was an old IRC screen name of mine, which later became an old band of mine. My old blog-type site way back then was called the House of Hate and was MUCH more angry and vulgar than I intend this one to be, but despite the fact that these names make this sound like some kind of fetish porn and/or neo-nazi site, I’m going to stick with it for now.

To be honest, I don’t know exactly where this is going yet. Things will be ranted about. Other things, such as games, movies, and maybe a comic or two, will be discussed and reviewed. Stories of the days of old may be told, with the names changed to protect the innocent. Sometimes I may even just start rambling off insane story ideas I have, but don’t quite know what to do with yet.

You will either enjoy these things or you won’t. This post won’t do much to change your mind either way on that front. At best I suppose all I can offer here is a warning to those who are easily offended and/or confused by strange and/or nerdy things: you’re probably in the wrong place. Fuck off.

Otherwise…welcome!

Actual content will follow shortly, as well as any needed modifications that come up. The design of this page clearly needs some alterations still, but this will do to begin with, and I don’t think it will end up straying too much further from the current minimalist look.

See you soon.